We Considered and Considered It

"Additional consideration" is the consolation prize of rejection. And you can quote me on that. The rejection says: "Debbie: Sorry we didn't find _________ (something?) here, but your work did receive additional consideration. Try us again. --The editors."

Hustled

Leave it to Larry Flynt.

Cookbooks and Vampire Novels

It's always good to have a blog where the writer strikes back.  Also a good excuse to use the word redacted. Have a hop over to Brooklyn and check it out for yourself:

Dear Agent: Thank you for sending me your standard response and, while I appreciate your ability to copy and paste, your form letter is not what I am looking for in the way of feedback. It may seem sincere to you, and I would certainly encourage you to keep sending it to other writers, but I cannot accept it at this time. Best, Writer

Reading Group Ettiquette

The submitter of this rejection is in a reading group with the four editors and still gets rejected in a perfunctory manner, such as this:

Thank you for your submissions. Unfortunately, we will not be publishing your work. We wish you all the best in your future creative endeavors and hope you will submit work for consideration for our next issue. We will reopen in September 2011. Best wishes, HRR Staff

Find Another Market

Exclamation point you.

What The Hell Is A Menupoem, Anyway?

Writes the submitter of this rejection: Your poem sucks...but check out the ones that didn't

Thanks for your submission to menupoems. We're sorry that we weren't able to use your menupoems this year. Thank you so much for thinking of us. For selected menupoems please see our website.

Second Job, Anyone?

Speaking of which: I am close to finishing (again, I know), the new, new, new version of the old, old, old novel.  A few more fresh-eyed readers, a few more catches and small tweaks, and I will send it back to 99.

A Legend Scribbles

It's one thing to have gotten a classic Gordon Lish rejection, such as this.  It's another to have gotten a handwritten "Good to see. Keep on _______ (something or other)" from the man himself.

Not In My House

Ye old Tin House rejection.  If you're not somebody, you're not going to get in that domicile.

Bedford Hills Is Not Where It's At, Dude

It begs the question: what business does Mr. Morrison of Bedford Hills have in the movies if he claims the game is in L.A.?

Romancing the Rejection

Editors should really stick to editing and forgo the attempts at humor, don't you think? Just an idea. "The less said about the love scenes, the better," is vaguely amusing. But, in all, I'm trying to forget, too.

Oh What Fun at JoUR Blog

So many things to reject; so little time.  Take a spin over at the official blog of the Journal of Universal Rejection for some fun! Their motto BTW is reprobatio certa, hora incerta. There are many funny rejections, and perhaps you will want to partake.

In Our Salty Hands

So cold and so warm all at the same time.  Confusing.  For those who can't make out the letters, it says: We at Salt Hill thank you for allowing us to read your work.  After thoughtful consideration, however, we have concluded that we are unable to publish your submission at this time.  Reading the unpublished work of so many talented writers is responsibility we take very seriously, and we feel privileged that you chose to place your writing in our hands.  We hope you will consider submitting to Salt Hill again in the future, and we thank you for your support of our endeavor.  Wishing you the best....Stamp: SH.

Flush It Elsewhere

This sign was posted in a window of a Borders that was going out of business. Can't do your business there any more. Sad to see that books are what's really going down the toilet, isn't it?

Program Slashing

Is this a new economic trend or a much needed correction to the market?

In Case You Don't Understand English

A reader sent this one in: 

We enjoyed reading your submission, but unfortunately it didn't work for us, so we'll have to say no. We get a lot of submissions and can only use a fraction of them, so please understand that this No most likely means "Not Quite the Right Fit," not "No Good." Thanks for thinking of DIAGRAM as a possible home for your work. Sincerely, The Editors

Try Try Again? Really?

Thanks for submitting to the Toucan! Unfortunately, your work isn't quite what we're looking for, but if at first you don't succeed, try try again, whether here or somewhere else. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors and life in general. Regards, Toucan Editrices

Is Your Agent a Twit?

Apparently some of them are. Check out this list of agents who tweet and let us know if yours appears there. I'm happy to report mine does not appear on the list.

Uh-Oh

Several mice have sent this in.  Seems like a good lesson for self-publishing authors on how not to deal with rejection (or bad reviews or even minor - and sounds like fair - criticism). See comments section. What do you think?